I haven't felt compelled to write for the past several months--partially because I didn't have anything new to share & partially because I've been more fatigued & uncomfortable most days so I didn't take time to write.
I recently was asked what I feel that I'm learning through all of this waiting time. I am learning many things; however, I think I recently figured out the main lesson that God is teaching me.
As far back as I can remember, I have been a daily list maker. It's not that I have to
stick to that list--I'm usually willing to flex. However, I use it to prioritize & focus myself so I don't ramble through my
day.
During a recent message at church, we learned more about trusting God. I questioned myself about whether I was trusting God enough through this waiting time. Then it struck me that every day I could write "get new organs" at the top of my to do list, but I can never do anything (other than pray) to achieve that goal. Only God knows when I'll be able to cross it off my list :) When we are not in control of something, we need to trust someone else.
As I process this, I'm thinking of goals/desires/dreams that we can have--lose weight, get a new job, start a family, train for a marathon, etc. Even though God ultimately would be the one who would allow us to achieve that goal (if it's in His will), there are steps that we can take toward it. This process of waiting has no steps toward it. After all my initial testing was complete in 2013, there was nothing else that I could do to work toward that goal. So, God is saying "you have to TRUST ME to take care of this one. I've got it covered."
It's stirring humbleness and submission and even more trust in me toward the One who is truly in charge.
During a recent message at church, we learned more about trusting God. I questioned myself about whether I was trusting God enough through this waiting time. Then it struck me that every day I could write "get new organs" at the top of my to do list, but I can never do anything (other than pray) to achieve that goal. Only God knows when I'll be able to cross it off my list :) When we are not in control of something, we need to trust someone else.
As I process this, I'm thinking of goals/desires/dreams that we can have--lose weight, get a new job, start a family, train for a marathon, etc. Even though God ultimately would be the one who would allow us to achieve that goal (if it's in His will), there are steps that we can take toward it. This process of waiting has no steps toward it. After all my initial testing was complete in 2013, there was nothing else that I could do to work toward that goal. So, God is saying "you have to TRUST ME to take care of this one. I've got it covered."
It's stirring humbleness and submission and even more trust in me toward the One who is truly in charge.
A few days after processing this message & further releasing it to God, I got a call from my transplant coordinator. Effective this week, I've been bumped higher on the list. I imagine that a lot of you are thinking "I thought you were at the top of the list already". Yes, I was; however, it's changed a little.
Every 3 months my case is reviewed & a decision is made whether to keep me at the current level of points or grant me more points. My coordinator said that they applied for more points & that now I'm being moved from a 31 to a 35. She said this doesn't happen frequently in cases like mine. So, what does 35 points mean? Previously, the search for possible donors for me were chosen from a local region around Maryland. Now with a score of 35, they will look in a larger circle for possible donors.
She explained that the reason it is taking so long for me to get another offer for donation is the fact that they have been waiting for the perfect match for me. Because I'm not the usual case (my liver function is still ok), they have the blessing of holding off until the perfect time. Most others (about 99%) on the transplant list have failing livers & time is a critical factor for them. So, they pass over me to give them the organs.
We talked a little more & then she said "Get Ready!" That phrase doesn't make my heart flutter as much as before. I still get a little anxious; but as I mentioned above, there's nothing I can do to get ready--God is doing all of the preparing!
Thanks for joining us on this adventure!
Again--"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are
plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
Jeremiah 29:11
Belinda & Meg
Belinda & Meg
