Throughout the afternoon, various medical staff came into our room to check me or discuss the surgery and anesthesia procedures. I didn't have many questions this time because I had a chance to ask them in January. As before, I shared with the anesthesiologist my only concern about the whole procedure: waking up & knowing that a tube was in my throat. I couldn't explain this fear...it just was real to me. He assured me that I would be sedated enough to deal with it but they would get it out as soon as they could. In the ICU, they would need to leave the tube in my throat until I was stable, but I would need to be alert enough to communicate a little with staff. He said that it may be in for a few days. Expressing my concern gave me peace.
I was getting acclimated to life in a hospital...just as I would start to relax & close my eyes, someone else would come in. We were on the 7th floor and the heli pad was above us so we could hear the choppers coming & going. At one point, it was quiet in our room & we both noticed a helicopter leaving the hospital. We had been wondering if my new organs had arrived yet. A few minutes later, one of the surgeons came into the room & told us that everything was going well & the medical team just left to get my organs. So, it was awesome to hear the specific chopper that would be carrying my precious cargo. We found it interesting to learn that some of the surgical team travels to procure the organs & make sure they're ok. The other part of the team is responsible for getting the recipient ready.
An estimated surgery time was mentioned--4:00. In January, surgery was delayed several times, so I didn't really count on that being the actual time. As 4:00 approached, there wasn't much communication from the medical staff. I assumed that this meant surgery would be delayed or possibly cancelled. However, a little after 4:00, my nurse opened the door & said "let's go". I said "where are we going? is surgery really going to happen?" She said that she would double check & quickly returned with a big smile & "yes!"
So, I hopped in the wheelchair & down the hall we went. As we traveled, I had to tell myself that this was actually going to happen. I had prepared myself for a 2nd false alarm, just in case. Now, it was feeling real!
It's difficult to describe what I was feeling from that moment until I went under anesthesia. I wasn't afraid. I can't remember any specific emotion. I simply felt like this was The Plan & like time stood still as it was being carried out. I felt this overwhelming sense that God was orchestrating every single second & every move that was made. (He does this all of the time but I rarely stop to think about it...now I was acutely aware of it.) I have never doubted that God could take away this disease from me. However, I never thought it was His plan to do so. I thought that this was part of my life story so now it was coming true.
We arrived at the surgical entrance & Todd had to leave me. I would have preferred that we stay together because he was with me for every other step. However, I knew that this was something that God & I had to do alone. A few more turns & hallways & we arrived at my surgical suite. I waited at the door & the anesthesiologists & surgeons met me there. (There needs to be multiple of each because they need breaks due to the length of the surgery.)
They asked me to confirm my name & what procedure I was having performed. I said "1 liver & 1 kidney, please!" I told them that I have been tormented by this liver for a long time & want to see what it looks like, so I requested pictures of my kidneys & liver. They laughed & said that they usually don't get this request but were happy to do so & asked for our email address. I thought they would send it to us days later. They surprised Todd by sending it to him during the procedure.
Then, they opened the 2 huge doors to the operating suite. I wouldn't call it a room because it seemed really big & bright & shiny with lots of people in it. On a lighter side, it felt like being on "Let's Make a Deal" tv show when they say "here's what we have for you behind door #1!" They said, "Would you like to walk in & climb up on the table? Most of our liver transplant patients aren't able to do this." Of course I wanted to...1 last piece of independence...
So, I walked into the room & climbed up the 1st step of the stool & stopped. I remember trying to hold my gown closed as I stepped up. Then I laughed at myself...thinking how silly that was because pretty soon the gown would disappear :)
I was on the 1st step & then stopped & looked around at all that was happening all around me. One person was focusing on me--the anesthesiologist. Everyone else was busy preparing whatever part of the procedure they were responsible for. I felt the nudge to speak to everyone (way out of my comfort zone). In a fairly loud voice that stopped everyone, I let them all know that they were being covered in prayer by hundreds of people so they weren't alone in this. I remember several smiles & several looks of amazement. (Or maybe they were thinking "give her the anesthesia so we can proceed with this surgery".)
By declaring that aloud, even more peace came over me by reminding myself about the prayer team that surrounded us. I climbed onto the table & positioned myself on the narrow, cold, metal table as instructed. I already had the IV port in place so the anesthesiologist connected me to some meds. He said that he was going to give me a "glass of wine"...meaning that they would start by lightly sedating me. (We had been told that I would be under light sedation for about an hour while they prep me & then the heavier anesthesia would start later when the surgery began.)
I remember telling the anesthesiologist (who had a very, caring look in his eyes) "I like wine, but I haven't had it for a very long time...I'm a cheap date...it won't take much... I'm sure I was mumbling by that point, because that's all that I remember until I awoke several hours later.
I'll stop here & begin again when I woke up the next day...
Thanks for traveling with me back in time...
Belinda
Then, they opened the 2 huge doors to the operating suite. I wouldn't call it a room because it seemed really big & bright & shiny with lots of people in it. On a lighter side, it felt like being on "Let's Make a Deal" tv show when they say "here's what we have for you behind door #1!" They said, "Would you like to walk in & climb up on the table? Most of our liver transplant patients aren't able to do this." Of course I wanted to...1 last piece of independence...
So, I walked into the room & climbed up the 1st step of the stool & stopped. I remember trying to hold my gown closed as I stepped up. Then I laughed at myself...thinking how silly that was because pretty soon the gown would disappear :)
I was on the 1st step & then stopped & looked around at all that was happening all around me. One person was focusing on me--the anesthesiologist. Everyone else was busy preparing whatever part of the procedure they were responsible for. I felt the nudge to speak to everyone (way out of my comfort zone). In a fairly loud voice that stopped everyone, I let them all know that they were being covered in prayer by hundreds of people so they weren't alone in this. I remember several smiles & several looks of amazement. (Or maybe they were thinking "give her the anesthesia so we can proceed with this surgery".)
By declaring that aloud, even more peace came over me by reminding myself about the prayer team that surrounded us. I climbed onto the table & positioned myself on the narrow, cold, metal table as instructed. I already had the IV port in place so the anesthesiologist connected me to some meds. He said that he was going to give me a "glass of wine"...meaning that they would start by lightly sedating me. (We had been told that I would be under light sedation for about an hour while they prep me & then the heavier anesthesia would start later when the surgery began.)
I remember telling the anesthesiologist (who had a very, caring look in his eyes) "I like wine, but I haven't had it for a very long time...I'm a cheap date...it won't take much... I'm sure I was mumbling by that point, because that's all that I remember until I awoke several hours later.
I'll stop here & begin again when I woke up the next day...
Thanks for traveling with me back in time...
Belinda
