I was transferred from the ICU to the next level of care--still close monitoring but not 2 nurses for each patient. I sensed that my new nurse was very busy & had a full work load. She cared for me well medically but didn't have a warm personality. I was less than 24 hours after surgery ended so I couldn't do anything for myself. Todd was there but he was functioning with no sleep since surgery started. Plus, there were many things that only the nurses could do.
She settled me in my new environment & then left to care for other patients. Todd was starting to relax & attempt some overdue sleep. It looked like a restful night was ahead of us. That's when the Prednisone kicked in. The normal protocol was to give me extremely high doses of Prednisone to fight my body's natural instinct to fight off foreign substances. I had been told that before surgery, but nothing could have prepared me for the side effects.
I was exhausted but each time that I started to drift off to sleep I would hallucinate. So, I was partially awake and able to have a 2-way conversation with Todd while I was seeing them. At first he tried to convince me that they weren't real, but then he realized that he just needed to play along with it & try to keep me calm.
Some of the hallucinations weren't terrible--I saw designs on the walls, each time a different design. I couldn't figure out how it kept changing. Some were comical--I delivered Domino's Pizza. I was dressed in a uniform & had a delivery sign on the top of our van. I remember asking people what toppings they wanted.
Other times, they were frightening. I walked outside the hospital in my gown & then tried to come back inside but the doors were locked. I was banging on the doors to try to get in. Nobody would help me. Another scary one was when my favorite yellow lab, Ben, was lying on the floor beside me. He's a large dog & he takes up a lot of room on the floor. I kept saying that someone was going to step on him. I wanted someone to move him out of the way. He was laying beside me right in the middle of my hospital room.
Each time a hallucination would start, I would hyperventilate & then my heart & oxygen rates would go crazy. That would set off alarms & my nurse would come to my room. The first time she calmly told me that I needed to take deep breaths. Then I would relax & settle down. As soon as I drifted off to sleep, the cycle would start again: hallucinations, hyperventilate, alarms, nurse. Each time, she was a little less patient with me. She told me that if I didn't take deep breaths, I was risking pneumonia & other problems. I'm sure that I needed to hear that; however, it gave me more fear in the way that it was delivered.
I was uncomfortable because I was sweating & sticking to the bed. I was really frightened because I couldn't move myself at all--not even lift my head. Todd & the nurse needed to move me. What a helpless feeling!
This process continued through the long night. Todd tried to sleep between episodes while leaning over my bed to soothe me. Finally, the 7am shift change occurred. I wasn't aware of the time & barely opened my eyes all night. My room was dark but I heard a new voice introducing herself. She said her name was Sophia & her calm voice was exactly what I needed. God sent her that morning to show me that He was taking care of me. She helped me breathe properly & stayed with me in my anxious times.
Later that morning, a resident doctor gave me goals of trying to advance my eating, getting up & walking, and a few more. I was overwhelmed to tears because I couldn't process all of that while battling the hallucinations & other Prednisone effects. Once again, Sophia came to my rescue. She had me focus on 1 goal at a time. She said that it didn't need to be all done at once. I was still less than 48 hours post op. Todd was a great support, but he wasn't experienced with this to be able to know whether to push me or not.
Then, my other great encourager came in--Dr. Cameron, my surgeon. I explained my frustrations & he explained that I was doing extremely well & way ahead of the recovery schedule. I really needed to hear that because I couldn't think clearly & wasn't sure if I was doing well.
Throughout the next few days Dr. Cameron & Sophia kept me realistic & focused on taking 1 day at a time. I had difficulty eating because of nausea but they convinced me that my bloodwork showed that I was doing great & my IV was giving me the proper nutrition. They said just do whatever your body is telling you. Those 2 angels really made a difference in my recovery process.
God's timing was perfect! It was shown in so many ways throughout my hospital stay & recovery. I'm so grateful for all He has done & provided through so many people. Thanks for following on my journey. It's a huge blessing to know that I'm not alone.
Now, I'm anxiously awaiting how He will utilize this foggy brain to show his sovereignty again. I'll keep you posted. This is all in His plan. I just need to try to rest in that.
Now, I'm anxiously awaiting how He will utilize this foggy brain to show his sovereignty again. I'll keep you posted. This is all in His plan. I just need to try to rest in that.
Thanks for following & praying!
Belinda
